in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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