I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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