it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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