No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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