You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
