What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Just cropdusted the office
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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