sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
