My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
