Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
