i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
