Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
