like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Drunk is not a location!
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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