i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
