the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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