I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
