If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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