Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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