I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
