the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
