dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
