you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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