they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
