Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
