Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
