she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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