Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
