Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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