u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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