i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
The uberlube is also flammable
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
