idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
