As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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