You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
