Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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