Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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