can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
