I just made out with a guy for $7.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
