you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Farmville is her only friend.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize