That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
