He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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