After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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