Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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