Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
