Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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