First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I wish i was in the wii world.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
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