Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Congratulations! We have a period
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
