I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
