Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
