We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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