I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize
