He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
