is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I am one with the molecules
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
